Potshots from a Pretty Boy

TSA agents never offer happy endings :(

what starts as a book club always seems to end as an orgy

I doubt Oprah jokes will ever wear thin

ironically the only thing I can say in my Amy Winehouse voice is “you need to get your shit together”

I just got hit on at Wal-Mart…so I have that going for me

the local cemetery makes a great last-minute flower shop

Kim Kardashian is suing Old Navy because they have a model that looks like her? I have yet to see a mannequin with back hair

fun fact: being exposed to a ginger is 10x more dangerous than being exposed to radiation

My facebook ads tell me about bipolar disorder and that Stevie Nicks is going on tour. This shit knows me better than my parents.

A woman named Denise Underhill has filed a lawsuit against the Playboy Mansion. According to the suit, Underhill claims that she injured her knee when she was “requested to jump on a trampoline…in order for photographs to be taken of her.” I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that she was in the nude during her bouncing session. Maybe she wore a thong, but once you hop on a trampoline in anything less than an armored suit, you’re naked. Apparently they didn’t give her any medical attention, which is weird since there must be an ambulance waiting out front at all times in case Hef passes away. They did give her some spare crutches they had lying around and sent her on her way. This story is really embarrassing.